Sent

In Matthew 10:5-25, Jesus sends out His disciples to teach about God's kingdom, and gives them some crazy instructions. Don't take any extra clothes, don't take any money, depend on the kindness of others. If people won't listen, don't stress it but move on. You'll be beat and arrested, and people will betray you. But don't worry.

WHAT??! This is His pep talk before they take on their first mission? Are you serious? What in the world is going on?

Honestly, I'm not completely sure. Jesus is up to something, but it doesn't make sense. Why tell them all of this stuff? Is He trying to scare them to death? To weed out the weaklings? To run off those who are uncommitted? Does it just stink if you obey God? Is obedience this constant drag of pain and suffering, so accept it and move on? It sure reads like that.

But that doesn't fit with how Christ lives. He lived a life that was mixture of joy and pain, rejection and amazing fruit. He calls us to be like Him. So why the words of dread and darkness?

I think He knows how weak we are, how selfish we are, and how we want to use Him to get our own way. He knows that we will go in Jesus name, claim to speak His words, and expect to be loved and rewarded for it. He's burning those thoughts out of our heads. We don't obey God to get power, prestige, or influence. We obey God because He's God. That's enough. Even when no one else may seem to be with us, He is.

I have a hard time with this. I want life to be smooth when I'm obedient. I want things to go well when I'm serving at full speed. But those things are tied together at all.

Will I still serve, regardless of the outcome? That is our calling.

Beer Bottles, Flip Flops, and Jesus

Yeah, I did it. I lost my flip flops off the top of my car. There, I said it. It's out in the open, and I've come clean. I put my flip flops on top of my car to dry, since when I leave them in my car wet they smell like a herd of dying rhinos threw a death party in the back seat of my trooper. And I drove off, completely forgetting they were there, just like I promised myself I wouldn't do.

So this morning, I saw one on the road, and stopped to get it. Walking along the road, cars whizzing by, old farmers on bicycles asking if I lost something and guffawing as they pedaled past, I kept looking for the other flip flop. As I perused the ditch and deep weeds along the road, I kept thinking I saw my shoe. But no, it was a beer bottle, an old glove, a beer bottle, some cardboard, a beer bottle, another old glove, a mountain dew throwback can, a beer bottle, and a trash bag full of something quite scary. Apparently the people driving in and out of our church drink a lot of beer and throw their empties into the ditch along the road.

It really began to hit me how much trash we pitch out in a small space. It was pretty discouraging, cruising the ditch and looking at the leftover unwanted parts of other people's lives laying there. Then I saw a bumble bee, and it was buzzing around this tiny yellow wisp of a flower. In the middle of a couple of beer bottles. For whatever reason, it hit me, that it is just like God to grow a flower in the middle of the trash and weeds. Just like Him....

So, I read in Matthew 9:27-38 about Jesus healing people, and seeing them "harassed and helpless". He wades out into the trash of that day, the people who were tossed aside and pitched for being worthless, and makes flowers of healing and hope grow. He still does, really.

It's just like Him... Oh, and I found my other flip flop.

When He Walks In

I hit Matthew 9 today, and the story of Jesus raising the girl from the dead. It's in verses 18-26. He walks into the house and everyone there is wailing and mourning because the girl is dead. He tells them she isn't.

There it is. The difference in how Jesus views us and how everyone else does. We give up on each other all the time. "They're a failure", "they're a mess", "they have no hope!" We look at other people, and basically classify them as dead. Maybe it's because they disappoint us. Or they've hurt our feelings deeply. Or we are intimidated by them. But we write them off, dismiss them, push them aside.

In walks Jesus and tells us that no, we've got it all wrong. They aren't dead, they're just not awake yet. And we laugh. Oh how we laugh. There is no hope for that one, even God can't change them. So, He clears the room, walks over, and simply touches them, and it all breaks apart. Just His touch, one time, is enough to turn the world upside down.

But even harder sometimes is when we are the ones who are dead. We're the ones who have messed up one too many times, we've screwed up, we've dropped the ball and we've blown things up. We are convinced its over, so we listen to everyone else, and we lay down and die.

Until He walks in. He comes for us when it's all over, when there's no hope, He walks in. And takes us by the hand. And tells us to get up.

I am so glad He never quits, He never gives up on those of us who are dead. Just Him grabbing our hand, and there's life again. Phew... that will keep a person going for a long time.

The Power of Word

So in Matthew 9, Jesus crosses back across the lake (see Matthew 8), and goes to His hometown. The place He had grown up, where He had been a kid and a young man. You gotta think that the people of His town had a lot of different ideas about Him. He had to come off as pretty weird most of the time, in this beautiful, entrancing kind of way that drew people in and worried them at the same time. So, anyway, He's back in His hometown. It never says He was home, cause He didn't really have a home.

These friends carry in a paralyzed guy. This is a different story, it seems, than the crew who lowered their friend through the ceiling down to Jesus. I love how these guys bring this paralyzed friend to Jesus. Jesus sees all of their faith, and tells the kid, "Take heart, your sins are forgiven."

I always am caught by how different from Jesus I am. I want the kid healed physically, because that is what I see in front of me. Jesus worries about what He sees, the kids heart and soul. The more I hang around Jesus, and more like Him I become over time, the more drawn to hurt and brokenness I am. But it still is the physical hurt. Someone who is poor, who finds them self homeless, who has a debilitating disease. I am drawn to them and want to help. Jesus is focused on their hurt too, but He sees past the outside hurt to the inside hurt. He is drawn to their broken soul, the need for forgiveness and hope.

It hits me too that when Jesus pushes back against the pastors in the crowd, He says "Which is easier to SAY..." He goes back to that Genesis 1 and 2 deal where God creates everything by saying it. Here Jesus says "Be whole" and the kid is, both in soul and body. It's the power of God's words. Again, I am so different from Jesus. I believe it's what I do that matters most. Jesus believes it's God's words flowing in and through Him that matter most.

So, I want to help fix someone economically, socially, and physically. Jesus wants to speak healing into their soul. I really need to come around on this understanding, and trust that God can speak healing through me. That's tough.

Matthew 8

Ok, so I'm reading Matthew 8:14-34. These verses track Jesus in the course of one day. Here's the breakdown. He heals Peter's mother in law, drives out demons from many people, gets pushed by a huge crowd, confronts a teacher of the law and a grieving man, crosses the lake in a storm, drives out two massively powerful demons, and is asked to leave by a town. The day continues in chapter 9.

First off, I think I have busy/rough days sometimes. Geez Louise, nothing like this.

Two, what in the world is going on? Is there some unifying theme to these stories, or is it just a day in the life of Jesus kind of thing?

He's definitely talking about committing to following Him. The whole "foxes have holes" and "let the dead bury the dead" comments make that clear. What is in the way for me? Is it stuff and He's telling me the "foxes have holes" answer? Or is it family, and He's giving me the "dead bury the dead" line? Is it doubt, fear, and control like the guys in the boat in the storm?

Honestly, it's all of it. I fall on all three levels. Man, that hurts.

But, I don't want to be like the people of the pig city. I don't want Him to leave my life. I want Him to stay, to have control over it all.

It scares me to have Him in charge, but the thought of not having Him at all is far more terrifying.

I think I can hear the sound of some of my things running downhill towards the ocean, snorting as they go....

8th Grade Graduation 2010

Senior's Night 2010