It's For Keeps

Divorce. Man, its such a tough issue. I hit Matthew 19 this morning, and Jesus is handed the issue of divorce. The scene is He has been healing a large amount of people, and the Pharisee's come to see what Jesus will say about divorce. They ask, "Is it legal for a man to divorce a woman for whatever reason he wants?" This was a common issue then, just like it is today.

Jesus tells them "No. God created marriage for a reason, and He supernaturally joins a man and woman together physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Once He does that, people shouldn't try to tear that apart."

Then they want to know why Moses said to give a woman a certificate of divorce in the Bible? Isn't that Moses condoning divorce?

Jesus tells them, "No. People were divorcing for all kinds of reasons, and the men would just pitch the women out. They couldn't remarry, and they would starve. Moses said if you were going to do it, you had to give her an official document saying you had ended your marriage and she was now single. He did it because you were idiots and hardhearted, not because it is in God's plan. Divorcing someone and remarrying someone else is adultery. If a spouse is guilty of sexual immorality, then it's not good, but you aren't guilty of adultery, because they have already broken the marriage covenant and left."

I love the disciples response. This is what I saw for the first time today. They look at Jesus, and think about it, and tell Him, "If that's the way God sees it, then it's better not to get married. If you have to stay with someone who is difficult, or hurtful, or a pain, and can't leave them, then it's better to be single and celibate." That just hits me as funny. It's like they are incredulous at His idea of marriage, and suddenly want no part of it.

Marriage is tough. Tougher than any unmarried person can understand. That's why we have to choose WHO we marry SO carefully. We don't. We rush into based on feelings and fun. Those aren't enough. And once we're in, we drastically underestimate the power of our words and actions. It all counts. But we need to work it out. There are always exceptions, but the majority of us need to work it out.

It's a tough teaching. That's for sure.

We've Moved Past Heartbreak Hotel

Spent some time this morning with my girls. We were on our way to Nana's and had some car time in the Trooper to talk through some stuff. They wanted to know about dating. I was game, and we had a great discussion.

I shared with the girls a little about how the way we have dating set up is so dangerous to our souls. It destroys us with shadows of hope and chasms of pain. Here's what I mean. We have designed a system that tells kids to be in a marriage without a promise of commitment. They are to give each other sole devotion, separate from the friends and family to a degree, and pour into each other. But when they get bored, or a better deal comes along, then they are free to move on to another person simply by passing a note or email or text which says they want to break up. It's a shadow of a hope of being loved. It never really materializes. It's a phantom.

But the pain that follows is all too real. It destroys hearts and souls. This doesn't even count in the effects of sex on kids. That's a whole other world of discussion. I promise you, almost everyone underestimates the destruction sex wrecks on middle school and high school students.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a Josh Harris "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" so let's only do courtship kind of guy. I think it's a good idea for guys and girls to hang out and be friends. It's the pseudo marriage we've designed that I'm against. Is it any wonder when adults get married, they treat it like dating? "I've found someone better, so here's my lawyers note, let's break up"?

I think we can do better. Yeah, it means being counter cultural. But the church is going to have to accept that fact. We have to design and carry out better options. Not in a cultural warfare way, but in a sense of we are attached to the Wisdom of the universe. Let's use that Wisdom in Christ to come up with better, more fulfilling plans.

Just a thought.