Raising Solomon in a Fool's World (new blog post)

In the book of Proverbs, Solomon writes down line after line of wisdom.  The book is considered one of the most important writings on wisdom in history.  It's quoted everyday.  We put it's proverbs on pillows, posters, coasters, cups, and business cards.  The writings in it have influenced kings and presidents, and been used to teach children worldwide.

That's why I think it's so interesting in chapter one when Solomon begins the whole book with this advice:

"7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, 

but fools despise wisdom and instruction. 

8 Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction
and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. 

9 They are a garland to grace your head
and a chain to adorn your neck."

There are two things that jump out to me from this beginning set of instructions.  One, we are supposed to be teachable.  In a world where knowing the right answer is so important, where we are judged on how much we know. where you can win thousands of dollars for pointless trivia on game shows, Solomon says to develop a teachable heart.  Be willing to learn.  Be humble.  Listen to others and take it in.  Only fools despise wisdom and instruction.  Yeah.  I've got a ways to go on this one.

The other thing that hit me is the call to parents.  We are supposed to be teaching our kids Godly wisdom.  Its our job.  The kids are supposed to be willing to learn, but we are required to teach it.  That means we have to have it to teach it.  Hmmmm......  How seriously are we taking this idea, moms and dads?  What do you and I need to do to pursue God's knowledge and wisdom, so that we can pass it on to our kids?  It's assumed we will.  But are we?

Do we need to sacrifice pursuing foolish things some times in order to pursue wisdom?  I gotta be honest, I hear parents much more concerned about what movies they've seen recently, than about the wisdom they are intentionally tracking down.  What needs to change in us, you and I, that we can have a better handle on this wisdom?  Where will our kids find it, if not with us?

I'd love to hear anyone's thoughts on it.

Parent Review for Christmas on the Circle: 2010 Edition

Yesterday was our annual trip to downtown Indy for Christmas on the Circle.  This was the eighth time we've done this trip, and it is always a great time!  Here are some highlights:

Ice Skating at Pan Am Plaza - We always have several students who don't know how to skate, and somehow I end up being a skating instructor.  I love helping them figure it out, and it's such a great chance to just hang out with students and talk as we go round and round the rink at .5 miles an hour.  Garrett surprised everyone when we discovered he used to play hockey as a little kid, and he quickly proved to be king of the ice; until the 14 year old figure skater showed up.  She was amazing.  Jacob Gahimer took a fall, and we're praying he's okay.  He hurt his wrist, but was in good spirits the rest of the day.

Circle Center Mall - All the students split into groups and shopped around.  My group went looking for a purple penguin, as Foo needed one for a girl.  So, all seven of us guys hit Claire's first thing.  Meanwhile, we caught Vince and Todd (guy leaders) in the Yankee Candle Store, and Annette in the Lids store.  We're a strange bunch of leaders, no doubt.  My crew spent time and a lot of cash upstairs in the arcade, while everyone else shopped around.  Kyle Weaver cheated and beat me on the Indy 500 game after I lead for the whole race, and he won with one foot to go at the end.  (NO, I am NOT bitter!)  Dinner was fun, as a certain guy student and mom were sitting back to back and grooving at the exact same time, without knowing it. 

Monument Circle - We had snow, again!  So of course, we had snow ball fights, again.  Fortunately this year there were no small children around from other groups, so no one got hurt, just cold and frosty.  It was COLD, but everyone had a great time and we ran for

South Bend Chocolate Company - Great hot chocolate and a chance to get warm.  It's always an even better time to hang out and laugh about a great day.  My crew went in the Bro Closet and found the 2005 Statistical Data book, and quizzed each other on it. (An annual tradition).

When we left, the Colts fiasco let out late, so we all got stuck in CRAZY traffic, which ran us 30 minutes late getting back.  Thank you to all of our patient parents for understanding. 

So, parents, you may wonder why we do this trip.  What is the goal?  We want to accomplish a few things:

1. Relationships - Discipleship happens in relationships.  We want your students to have meaningful relationships with adults who passionately love Jesus.  That takes time.  Our leaders are intentional about spending time with your students on these events to show them love and listen to them.  We also want students to have healthy relationships with other students who love Jesus.  Both are crucial to growth.

2. Memories - We need to put "mile makers" along the road in life to look back on.  As students remember this trip, it cements in a correlation between being loved, having fun, and Christ.  That's crucial.

3. Culture - Downtown Indy is part of our local culture.  We want to provide kids a healthy chance to experience it, as it builds a better understanding of what God is doing, as well as an appreciation for what He has given us.

Thanks for letting us partner with you as you raise your students.  If your kids didn't go this year, I encourage you to sign them up next year and send them.  Let me know if you have any questions!

Guest Post: Scott Linscott

I saw Scott's blog post today, and I am posting it in it's entirety. These are not my words, but I wish they were. This is exactly what we are talking about. Please read it.

Your kid’s an All Star? Wow! Someday he’ll be average like the rest of us.

The church in America is puzzled. Young adults are leaving in droves. Magazines, books and blogs are wagging the finger of blame to point out who is responsible. Some say it is a failure of youth ministry, some point to church budgets and some nail the blame on outdated, unhip worship services. We parents are shocked that our kids just really aren’t all that into Jesus.

When I look for someone to blame I head into the restroom and look into a mirror. Yupp, there he is. I blame him. That parent looking back at me is where I have to start.

If you’re a parent, I’m might tick you off in this post. But, hear me out. I think that we, as parents are guilty of some things that make it easy for our kids to put faith low on their priority list.

Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith

1) Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities. Encourage your child to put everything else aside for academic gain. Afterall, when they are 24 and not interested in faith and following Christ, you’ll still be thrilled that they got an A in pre-calculus, right? Instead of teaching them balance, teach them that all else comes second to academics. Quick … who graduated in the top 5 of your high school class? Unless you were one of them, I bet you have no idea. I don’t.

2) Chase the gold ball first and foremost. Afterall, your child is a star. Drive 400 miles so your child can play hockey but refuse to take them to a home group bible study because it’s 20 minutes away.

2b) Buy into the “select,” “elite,” “premier” titles for leagues that play outside of the school season and take pride in your kid wearing the label. Hey now, he’s an All-Star! No one would pay $1000 for their kid to join, “Bunch-of-kids-paying-to-play Team.” But, “Elite?!?” Boy, howdy! That’s the big time!

2c) Believe the school coach who tells you that your kid won’t play if he doesn’t play in the offseason. The truth is, if your kid really is a star, he could go to Disney for the first week of the season and come back and start for his school team. The determined coach might make him sit a whole game to teach him a lesson. But, trust me, if Julie can shoot the rock for 20 points a game, she’s in the lineup. I remember a stellar soccer athlete who played with my son in high school. Chris missed the entire preseason because of winning a national baseball championship. With no workouts, no double sessions, his first day back with the soccer team, he started and scored two goals. Several hard-working “premier” players sat on the bench and watched him do it. (Chris never played soccer outside the school season but was a perpetual district all-star selection.) The hard reality is, if your kid is not a star, an average of 3 new stars a year will play varsity as freshmen. That means there’s always 12 kids who are the top prospects. Swallow hard and encourage your kid to improve but be careful what you sacrifice to make him a star at little Podunk High here in Maine.

2d) By the way, just because your kid got a letter inviting him to attend a baseball camp in West Virginia does not mean he is being recruited. You’ll know when recruiting happens. Coaches start calling as regularly as telemarketers, they send your kid handwritten notes and they often bypass you to talk to your kid. A letter with a printed label from an athletic department is not recruitment. When a coach shows up to watch your kid play and then talks to you and your kid, that’s recruiting.

3) Teach your kid that the dollar is almighty. I see it all the time. Faith activities fly out the window when students say, “I’d like to, but I have to work.” Parents think jobs teach responsibility when, in reality, most students are merely accumulating wealth to buy the things they want. Our kids learn that faith activities should be put aside for the “responsibility” of holding a job. They will never again get to spend 100% of their paychecks on the stuff they want.

3b) Make them pay outright for faith activities like youth retreats and faith community activities while you support their sports, music, drama and endeavors with checks for camps and “select” groups and expensive equipment. This sends a loud and clear message of what you really want to see them involved in and what you value most. Complain loudly about how expensive a three-day youth event is but then don’t bat an eye when you pay four times that for a three-day sports camp.

4) Refuse to acknowledge that the primary motivating force in kids’ lives is relationship. Connections with others is what drives kids to be involved. It’s the reason that peer pressure is such a big deal in adolescence. Sending kids to bible classes and lectures is almost entirely ineffective apart from relationship and friendships that help them process what they learn. As kids share faith experiences like retreats, mission trips and student ministry fun, they build common bonds with one another that work as a glue to Christian community. In fact, a strong argument can be made that faith is designed to be lived in community with other believers. By doing all you can to keep your kids from experiencing the bonds of love in a Christian community, you help insure that they can easily walk away without feeling like they are missing anything. Kids build friendships with the kids they spend time with.

5) Model apathy in your own life. If following Jesus is only about sitting in a church service once a week and going to meetings, young adults opt out. Teenagers and young adults are looking for things that are worth their time. Authentic, genuine, relevant relationships where people are growing in relationship with Jesus is appealing. Meaningless duty and ritual holds no attraction.

There are no guarantees that your children will follow Christ even if you have a vibrant, purposeful relationship with Him. But, on the other hand, if we, as parents do not do all we can to help our children develop meaningful relationships in Jesus, we miss a major opportunity to lead them and show them the path worth walking.

I want my kids to see that their dad follows Jesus with everything. I want them to know that my greatest hope for them is that they follow Him too.

Mt. 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (The Message)

On a personal note: I know the struggle. My wife and I have lived the struggle firsthand. My son was recruited by a few D1 NCAA schools for baseball and opted instead to attend a small D3 school. My daughter was recruited to play field hockey by a couple D2 programs and ended up playing D3 when the scholarship offer was not enough to make her top school affordable. Both played in “premier” leagues. Both got A’s in high school though we often told them not to stress out too much over it. Both are in honor societies in college and my son now has offers from UNC, Univ. of Wisconsin, Johns Hopkins and Weil Cornell for a Phd in Pharmacology. Neither ever missed a youth group retreat, conference or mission trip because of their sports or academic commitments. Both missed a game or two to attend faith-based activities. Both missed school for family vacations. Both held down part-time jobs in high school and learned to give employers advance notice for upcoming retreats. My son often changed into his baseball uniform at church to arrive in the third inning of Sunday games. Robin and I did all we could to make sure they connected in student ministry even when it meant driving straight from a tournament to a music festival at midnight so that they would not miss out. It was that important to us. My youngest, a culinary student, lost a restaurant job because he went on a mission trip. That’s fine. Thankfully, all 3 have strong faith walks today. That is due only to God’s grace. But, I do believe that our efforts and example helped them long for a community-based faith.