Abandoned by All. Trusted by a Few.

Ever made a decision that you knew was bad, but you did it anyway?  And then, when the decision is carried out, you're hit with total heart break over it?  Yeah?  Well, Judas did too.  He sold Jesus out for money, and then regretted it.

The problem is, He still didn't understand Jesus, even in his sadness and guilt.

Peter denied Jesus three times, but later Jesus offers him the chance to be forgiven, and he goes on to lead the church.

Judas would have been offered the same forgiveness, had he been willing to face the pain.  But he took the quick way out, and missed out on redemption.  His shortcut ended any chance of forgiveness and joy.

So, what will you and I do today?  We will make mistakes.  We always do.  But what we do after those mistakes is the crucial part.  Do we run from them, create shortcuts, deny God, and ultimately let our mistakes destroy us and kill us?  Or, like Peter, will we be broken by our mistakes, and give God the chance to redeem us and offer us forgiveness?

Mistakes are universal.  We all blow it.  We all wander off on our own, sell God out, and deny Him at times.  It's called sin.  It is going to happen to each of us today, at some point.  But how we respond is what tells the world Who we belong to.  Judas was sad for selling out Jesus, but He still didn't trust Him.  Peter did.

When you blow it today, will you turn towards Jesus, or away from Him?  It makes all the difference between life and death.

Can't Even Make it on FAIL BLOG

Peter hits rock bottom in Matthew 26:69-75.  It's the story of Peter denying Jesus three times in the middle of the night.  Obviously, in this story, there is a huge parallel between Peter denying Jesus in public, and us doing the same thing today.  But I have a different question for us out of the story.

If Jesus went on trial today, and you were hanging around watching it happen from a distance, like Peter was, would anyone accuse you of being with Him?  What I mean is, we latch onto Peter's failure to claim Jesus publicly, and that is what the story is about at it's biggest point.  But, don't miss the fact that three strangers not only were watching Jesus, but the people who hung out with Him.  They recognized Peter as one of Jesus' followers.  He was outed by the fact that He was so tied to Jesus for three years.  People knew him.  They didn't know his name, or what he did.  They simply knew he was one of Jesus' followers.

What about you and me?  If we were at the trial today, would anyone recognize us as one of His?  Or would we seamlessly blend into the crowd?  You see, even at Peter's worst, he couldn't hide who he really was.  But I fear that maybe we could.  Maybe we are so good at hiding our identity, that we just blend in, and would never be accused of being with Jesus.  Honestly, which is worse, to get pegged as Jesus' friend and try to deny it futilely, or never be recognized as His friend at all? 

I've got to step up some, it seems, if I ever want to have the chance to fail at denying Jesus.  Right now, I'm not sure how many people would even ask... wow....

Is the Sting Worse If You Form the Fingers?

I've got to be honest, I absolutely hate the story at the end of Matthew.  I fully recognize that Jesus' death and resurrection are what make life possible for me, and am grateful beyond words for it.  But what He endured is so painful for me to picture.  Matthew 26:57-68 breaks my heart on several levels.

We have Jesus arrested and taken to a bogus trial by the pastors of the day.  The whole thing is illegal and a sham, and a total set up.  How do people who work so hard to follow God ever get to this point?  How do they get to where they are this desperate?  They bring in lying witnesses to tell false stories, and even then can't come up with enough to convict Jesus.  Why didn't someone, anyone, stand up and say "This is wrong?"  It scares me to think about it.  These guys were so enamored with THEIR power, THEIR plans, THEIR dreams that they missed the One they claimed to follow.  Jesus was there, in the flesh, and they missed Him.  Beyond that, they spit in His face and slapped Him and made fun of Him.  They've lost it.  A Pharisee should NEVER have acted like this, no matter what it was that made them so mad.  They went over the edge.  What in my life is something I am so passionate about, so worried about, so desperate to hold on to, that it could take me over the brink like this?

Secondly, you've got Peter.  He has run from Jesus, like a coward.  He has screwed up again.  His thoughts are swirling in his head, and his world is coming apart.  He can only follow from a distance, too cowardly to take a stand with Jesus.  So he sits in the shadows with his enemies and watches God's plan unfold, too far away to be of any use, but close enough to suffer in his heart as it happens.  So often I play the coward and pull myself out of God's plans, effectively neutralizing myself and being completely useless.  My sin and fear can take me down so fast, and unless I take a stand with Jesus publicly, I won't get it back.  Unfortunately, the story gets worse for Peter before it gets better.  More on that part tomorrow.

Finally, there is Jesus.  My Hero.  My Savior.  The One who loves me all the time.  Being falsely accused.  Being made fun of by people who are far beneath Him.  Being misquoted, misunderstood, and mistreated.  He is slapped by hands He created, and spit on by mouths He formed decades earlier.  These tongues that are so quick with hate were created by Him to speak love.  His creation has turned on Him, and He must take it.  My heart breaks for Him in love and sympathy, until I realize that I am just as guilty of all these things.  And He sits in my office now with me, quietly loving me just as He loved them.  His strength in these times is unbelievable and beyond my comprehension.

What an amazing God we serve!  To weave such a complex story, and bring such joy and beauty from it.  He is amazing and powerful!  Spend some time today worshiping this God, because He is so incredibly worth it!

Abandoned

Jesus' story of arrest and desertion is one of the most heart wrenching scenes in the Bible.  Jesus has been praying all night, and has steeled Himself for what is coming.  He is betrayed by a student He has poured three years into.  (I wonder at what point He knew Judas would betray Him?)  That alone is enough to kill a person.  But then, Judas does it by embracing Him and kissing Him.  To turn your back on someone with a false act of love must have been so painful.  The crowd that comes for Him, people He has created and loves, come with swords and clubs.  Jesus has never been violent towards others, except with the whip in the Temple.  This shows how little they understood Him, and how they were reacting to rumors and stories, not the truth.  One of His own, Peter, fights back with a sword, totally denying all that Jesus had been teaching Him.  And to top it all off, when Jesus is arrested, all of His friend run.  In this five minute scene, He is abandoned at least four different ways.

The heartbreak He must have felt, plus the weight of what was coming.  I do not know how He did it.  I have went through things that were no where near this, and caved.  I've been broken by so much less.  One friend abandoning me.  A student totally turning their back on their faith and our relationship.  A parent or a church member talking about me behind my back.  A youth leader criticizing me without confronting me.  These things are tiny, and partially my fault.  Neither of those are true about Jesus.  He was innocent, and completely abandoned.

Yet, He is faithful.  No pointing to the sky and telling God that this is bogus and that He is done.  No quitting, whining, or giving up.  He moves forward, resigned to obey to the very end.

May I live a live of obedience that reflects some of this.  May I be able to say, ^"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." -  Psalms 18:2

Sex Questions from the Edge

Ok, so here is the second set of questions I was given last week at our questions night.  There were lots of questions about sex.  Lots.  Some of them I can answer on here, some I need to answer in person.  Now, I know that you probably are not going to be willing to ask me some of them in person, so here is the next best thing.  You can email me a question if you want, and I will personally email you back (jason@sccconnect.net).  Yeah, I will know it is from you.  If you are worried about that, set up an email address without your name in it, and send it through that.  Or, you can write your question on paper, put it in an envelope, give it to your small group leader, tell them to give it to me without telling me who it's from.  I'll write an answer and give it back to them in an envelope.  They know who its from, but not the question.  I'll know the question, but not who it's from. 

Okay, enough of the secret spy stuff, let's get rolling...

1. "I haven't had sex yet, but there are people in the high school I know who have.  Is there a way for them to start over?  Is so, what is a Bible verse to prove to them they can become pure again?" - Excellent question, and I love your care and love for your friends!  Yeah, they can totally start over.  That's what Jesus is all about, forgiveness and fresh starts.  1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  That means no matter what we have done, if we admit to God that we done the wrong things and want His forgiveness, not only does He forgive us, but He makes us pure again.  We will still have the memories and other things to deal with, but He does make us pure in His eyes.  Then there is the story in the Bible of the lady who was caught having sex with a guy she wasn't married to.  Jesus tells her that He doesn't condemn her, and that she should go and not do that any more in John 8:11.  The big point there is once we accept God's forgiveness, we have to change how we live our lives, and what we do.  Keep encouraging your friend that there is forgiveness, hope, and love if they will begin to trust God with all of these things.

2. "Why do they tell us to wait till marriage to have sex when you can still get STD's, marriage or no marriage?" - I'm not sure who the "they" is in this question, but I can tell you why I tell you to wait.  It has little to do with STD's.  They are serious, and bad, but there are much more common, and worse things to deal with when you have sex outside of marriage (broken hearts, destroyed relationships, guilt, and more).  If you only have sex with your husband/wife, and they only have sex with you, then you won't get an STD.  If one of you fools around, either before or during marriage, then you are both at risk.  The STD idea is to be a virgin, and marry another person who is a virgin.  That is the STD prevention that you are talking about.  But I don't think that is the biggest reason to hold onto your virginity.  It's a big one, but not the biggest one.

3. "Do you know if going past 3rd base at 13 is okay, because she is hot." - Dude, I'm sorry, but no, it's not okay.  Sex isn't about what the other person looks like.  I know you've been told 100 times a day for the last 10 years it is, but you've been lied to.  It's not.  It never has been, and it never will be.  When we turn sex into simply about how hot someone is, we end up really messed up emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  It breaks us.  It's like using dynamite to unclog your toilet.  It will work for a minute, but the mess afterwards is HUGE.  Okay, maybe that's a gross example, but you get the point.  God's plan for sex is really great, and it's supposed to be a powerful thing.  But when we mess around outside of His boundaries, we always pay for it.  I don't even have to address the age part of the question, because sex is about marriage, love (like you read about in 1 Corinthians 13:4,5), and commitment, which are not what the average 13 year old is signing up for.  I'm begging you to back up, and reign things in.  You are not going to like where this path takes you.

Okay, I got a couple of other questions, but they are about HOW to have sex, which is really for your parents to explain.  If they won't, then talk to me or your small group leader.  We will try to talk about it as painlessly as we can.  There were some other questions about sex that are specific to guys or girls, and I'm not sure I should answer them here either.  BUT, like I wrote about at the intro, I am very willing to answer them.  I just need to know who to get the answers back to.  Trust me, I will NOT embarrass you if you ask me a tough question.  I promise.  Give it a shot!

I'll post some more questions about hurting ourselves, friendships, and more tomorrow.  Feel free to send me more questions if you have them too.

Sleeping It Off

Outside of Jerusalem there was a public park called Gethsemane (Geth-si-muh-nee).  Jesus liked to hang out there and rest there.  So, the night before He is crucified, that's where He heads to, so that He can pray (Matthew 26:36-46).  His disciples go with Him, and He asks them to pray because He is feeling overwhelmed and wants their help. 

They fall asleep.

So, He goes and prays, asking for God to find some other way to get the job done.  He knows what is coming, and it is burying Him.  But, He relents that whatever His Father wants to do, He will do.  He goes back to check on his friends.

They are asleep.  He wakes them up, gets on them a little, asks them to pray, and goes off to pray again.

He prays the same prayer as before.  After a while, He heads back to check on His friends.

They are asleep.  Again.  This time He doesn't wake them up.

He goes back, and prays the same thing, for a third time.  Please God, find some other way, but if there is no other way, then I will do Your will.

When He returns this time, his friends are still asleep.  He wakes them up, just as Judas and the soldiers show up.

A couple of things hit me here.  Jesus spends quite a bit of time praying (the whole night passes), and He repeatedly asks God to find another way.  Each time, He concedes that He will do what His Father wants, but He keeps asking for another way.  He is struggling, He is overwhelmed, He is scared, and He keeps asking for help.  He wrestles with this plan, and finally gives in.  I am so encouraged that God allows us to wrestle with issues.  I'm not saying we should make it a habit, by any means.  But sometimes God is going to ask us to do things that are so difficult, so tough, it may take us awhile to come around.  I am grateful for a God of grace and patience with those who want to follow Him.

Secondly, the disciples fell asleep.  They were supposed to be praying, but they fell asleep.  And they pay for it.  Jesus encourages them to pray so that they wouldn't fall into temptation.  They didn't (pray) and they did (fall).  We are told over and over to pray.  Are we?  Or are we just too tired in life to pray?  If so, we shouldn't be surprised that our faith is weak and we constantly are struggling with the same temptations over and over and over.

It's interesting the difference in the characters.  Jesus prays, the disciples don't.  Jesus wins, the disciples fail and run.  What do you need to be praying about today?  What is stopping you from praying right now? 

Dating Questions from the Edge

Last Wednesday we did a "Questions Night" where everyone could ask whatever questions they wanted.  Since we had just finished a series on dating, we had a lot of dating and sex questions.  I thought I'd quickly answer some here.

1. "What should I say to someone who wants to go out with me and I can't because my mom and dad say I can't?" - Don't lie to them.  If you are not interested in them, the best way to handle it is to just tell them that you really like them as a friend (if that's true) and you are not interested in dating them.  If you do like them, explain to them that you like them, but that you are not allowed to date.  Ok, I know both of these answers are tough, and require a ton of guts to be honest about.  But, being honest is always the least painful way to handle these relationship issues.  It's worth it to shoot straight with someone.

2. "What do you do when he calls his friend asking for another girls number?" - I assume you mean your boyfriend did this behind your back.  Simply ask him why.  There may be a good reason for it.  Homework info, getting the number for a friend, or some other reason.  Or maybe not.  Let him have a chance to explain, and watch to see if he's being honest.  If you doubt him, talk to him about it.  You have to be up front and honest about this stuff.

3.  "When you want to break up with someone, how?" - Great question!  Be honest with them, and try to be as kind as you can. Don't lie to soften the pain, and don't be mean to get even.  Just tell them the truth.  Often, if you write it out first, and re-read it, you can figure out the best way to tell them.  You need to tell them in person, and at a time where they don't have to deal with during class.  Tell them so they have a chance to deal with it outside of school.

4. "Why do kids always say different stuff when they are not allowed to date?" - Often, it's just because they are embarrassed because they can't.  Their friends have put some stupid pressure on them that they are "supposed" to be dating, and they can't, so they feel insecure.  So, they make up stories about why they aren't dating to try and cover it up.  First off, there is no age at which you are "supposed" to date.  That's crazy!  And secondly, there is nothing wrong with telling someone you are not allowed to.  You aren't allowed to drive yet either, and that's no big deal.  Anyone who teases you about is way immature, and their opinion isn't worth getting worked up over.

5. "Why do guys and girls only go out with people if they're hot?" - We've been taught that this is what matters, and that it makes us more important if we have a hot boyfriend or girlfriend.  Honestly, it doesn't mean anything.  Just look at all of the attractive people who date someone just because they have money.  That's not about love, or about how great the person is.  The hot person is with the other one just to get their money.  It's no big deal what other people think your boyfriend or girlfriend look like.  Friendship matters more than anything.

6. "I think God is not real because every time I ask a girl out they say "no" or "you're gross".  Please explain to me how that happens." - Man, I'm sorry.  This honestly has much less to do with whether or not God is real, and more about the girls you are asking out.  How are you picking who to ask?  Are they good friends first, or are you picking them because of their looks, reputation, or what?  If you are asking out girls who are good friends, then ask them why they said no.  Sometimes we get turned down because of simple things we can change, sometimes its just the other person doesn't feel about us the way we feel about them.  EVERY guy has been there, man.  I promise.  God's plan for you goes way past whether or not you can get a date in middle school.  He loves you, and has created you to be an amazing man who accomplishes great things if you follow Him.  Don't give up on Him, He will never give up on you.  I promise.

7.  "What do you do if a girl asks you to come over to her house?  Do you have sex with her or just hang out?  I don't know what to do." - Whew, man, this is a tough one.  Did the girl ask you to come over when her parents weren't there?  Is this a girl you've known long?  Is this a friend, or what?  There is nothing wrong with hanging out at a girl's house, with some basic guidelines.  Do your parents know where you are going, and who is going to be there?  Are her parents home and aware you are coming over?  What are the plans when you show up?  Why do you want to go?  Listen man, I know this sort of stuff is hard to figure out, but the Bible talks about this some.  Proverbs chapters 5 and 7 talk about hooking up with someone, and what an incredible price you end up paying for it.  My advice is if you are in doubt about what is going to go on while you're there, or about who will or won't be there, then DON'T GO!  If you find yourself tempted to lie about the situation, then DON'T GO!  It's super risky with huge consequences.  God's plan for you is way better than this.