Abandoned

Jesus' story of arrest and desertion is one of the most heart wrenching scenes in the Bible.  Jesus has been praying all night, and has steeled Himself for what is coming.  He is betrayed by a student He has poured three years into.  (I wonder at what point He knew Judas would betray Him?)  That alone is enough to kill a person.  But then, Judas does it by embracing Him and kissing Him.  To turn your back on someone with a false act of love must have been so painful.  The crowd that comes for Him, people He has created and loves, come with swords and clubs.  Jesus has never been violent towards others, except with the whip in the Temple.  This shows how little they understood Him, and how they were reacting to rumors and stories, not the truth.  One of His own, Peter, fights back with a sword, totally denying all that Jesus had been teaching Him.  And to top it all off, when Jesus is arrested, all of His friend run.  In this five minute scene, He is abandoned at least four different ways.

The heartbreak He must have felt, plus the weight of what was coming.  I do not know how He did it.  I have went through things that were no where near this, and caved.  I've been broken by so much less.  One friend abandoning me.  A student totally turning their back on their faith and our relationship.  A parent or a church member talking about me behind my back.  A youth leader criticizing me without confronting me.  These things are tiny, and partially my fault.  Neither of those are true about Jesus.  He was innocent, and completely abandoned.

Yet, He is faithful.  No pointing to the sky and telling God that this is bogus and that He is done.  No quitting, whining, or giving up.  He moves forward, resigned to obey to the very end.

May I live a live of obedience that reflects some of this.  May I be able to say, ^"The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer; my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge. He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." -  Psalms 18:2

Sex Questions from the Edge

Ok, so here is the second set of questions I was given last week at our questions night.  There were lots of questions about sex.  Lots.  Some of them I can answer on here, some I need to answer in person.  Now, I know that you probably are not going to be willing to ask me some of them in person, so here is the next best thing.  You can email me a question if you want, and I will personally email you back (jason@sccconnect.net).  Yeah, I will know it is from you.  If you are worried about that, set up an email address without your name in it, and send it through that.  Or, you can write your question on paper, put it in an envelope, give it to your small group leader, tell them to give it to me without telling me who it's from.  I'll write an answer and give it back to them in an envelope.  They know who its from, but not the question.  I'll know the question, but not who it's from. 

Okay, enough of the secret spy stuff, let's get rolling...

1. "I haven't had sex yet, but there are people in the high school I know who have.  Is there a way for them to start over?  Is so, what is a Bible verse to prove to them they can become pure again?" - Excellent question, and I love your care and love for your friends!  Yeah, they can totally start over.  That's what Jesus is all about, forgiveness and fresh starts.  1 John 1:9 says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."  That means no matter what we have done, if we admit to God that we done the wrong things and want His forgiveness, not only does He forgive us, but He makes us pure again.  We will still have the memories and other things to deal with, but He does make us pure in His eyes.  Then there is the story in the Bible of the lady who was caught having sex with a guy she wasn't married to.  Jesus tells her that He doesn't condemn her, and that she should go and not do that any more in John 8:11.  The big point there is once we accept God's forgiveness, we have to change how we live our lives, and what we do.  Keep encouraging your friend that there is forgiveness, hope, and love if they will begin to trust God with all of these things.

2. "Why do they tell us to wait till marriage to have sex when you can still get STD's, marriage or no marriage?" - I'm not sure who the "they" is in this question, but I can tell you why I tell you to wait.  It has little to do with STD's.  They are serious, and bad, but there are much more common, and worse things to deal with when you have sex outside of marriage (broken hearts, destroyed relationships, guilt, and more).  If you only have sex with your husband/wife, and they only have sex with you, then you won't get an STD.  If one of you fools around, either before or during marriage, then you are both at risk.  The STD idea is to be a virgin, and marry another person who is a virgin.  That is the STD prevention that you are talking about.  But I don't think that is the biggest reason to hold onto your virginity.  It's a big one, but not the biggest one.

3. "Do you know if going past 3rd base at 13 is okay, because she is hot." - Dude, I'm sorry, but no, it's not okay.  Sex isn't about what the other person looks like.  I know you've been told 100 times a day for the last 10 years it is, but you've been lied to.  It's not.  It never has been, and it never will be.  When we turn sex into simply about how hot someone is, we end up really messed up emotionally, physically, and spiritually.  It breaks us.  It's like using dynamite to unclog your toilet.  It will work for a minute, but the mess afterwards is HUGE.  Okay, maybe that's a gross example, but you get the point.  God's plan for sex is really great, and it's supposed to be a powerful thing.  But when we mess around outside of His boundaries, we always pay for it.  I don't even have to address the age part of the question, because sex is about marriage, love (like you read about in 1 Corinthians 13:4,5), and commitment, which are not what the average 13 year old is signing up for.  I'm begging you to back up, and reign things in.  You are not going to like where this path takes you.

Okay, I got a couple of other questions, but they are about HOW to have sex, which is really for your parents to explain.  If they won't, then talk to me or your small group leader.  We will try to talk about it as painlessly as we can.  There were some other questions about sex that are specific to guys or girls, and I'm not sure I should answer them here either.  BUT, like I wrote about at the intro, I am very willing to answer them.  I just need to know who to get the answers back to.  Trust me, I will NOT embarrass you if you ask me a tough question.  I promise.  Give it a shot!

I'll post some more questions about hurting ourselves, friendships, and more tomorrow.  Feel free to send me more questions if you have them too.

Sleeping It Off

Outside of Jerusalem there was a public park called Gethsemane (Geth-si-muh-nee).  Jesus liked to hang out there and rest there.  So, the night before He is crucified, that's where He heads to, so that He can pray (Matthew 26:36-46).  His disciples go with Him, and He asks them to pray because He is feeling overwhelmed and wants their help. 

They fall asleep.

So, He goes and prays, asking for God to find some other way to get the job done.  He knows what is coming, and it is burying Him.  But, He relents that whatever His Father wants to do, He will do.  He goes back to check on his friends.

They are asleep.  He wakes them up, gets on them a little, asks them to pray, and goes off to pray again.

He prays the same prayer as before.  After a while, He heads back to check on His friends.

They are asleep.  Again.  This time He doesn't wake them up.

He goes back, and prays the same thing, for a third time.  Please God, find some other way, but if there is no other way, then I will do Your will.

When He returns this time, his friends are still asleep.  He wakes them up, just as Judas and the soldiers show up.

A couple of things hit me here.  Jesus spends quite a bit of time praying (the whole night passes), and He repeatedly asks God to find another way.  Each time, He concedes that He will do what His Father wants, but He keeps asking for another way.  He is struggling, He is overwhelmed, He is scared, and He keeps asking for help.  He wrestles with this plan, and finally gives in.  I am so encouraged that God allows us to wrestle with issues.  I'm not saying we should make it a habit, by any means.  But sometimes God is going to ask us to do things that are so difficult, so tough, it may take us awhile to come around.  I am grateful for a God of grace and patience with those who want to follow Him.

Secondly, the disciples fell asleep.  They were supposed to be praying, but they fell asleep.  And they pay for it.  Jesus encourages them to pray so that they wouldn't fall into temptation.  They didn't (pray) and they did (fall).  We are told over and over to pray.  Are we?  Or are we just too tired in life to pray?  If so, we shouldn't be surprised that our faith is weak and we constantly are struggling with the same temptations over and over and over.

It's interesting the difference in the characters.  Jesus prays, the disciples don't.  Jesus wins, the disciples fail and run.  What do you need to be praying about today?  What is stopping you from praying right now? 

Dating Questions from the Edge

Last Wednesday we did a "Questions Night" where everyone could ask whatever questions they wanted.  Since we had just finished a series on dating, we had a lot of dating and sex questions.  I thought I'd quickly answer some here.

1. "What should I say to someone who wants to go out with me and I can't because my mom and dad say I can't?" - Don't lie to them.  If you are not interested in them, the best way to handle it is to just tell them that you really like them as a friend (if that's true) and you are not interested in dating them.  If you do like them, explain to them that you like them, but that you are not allowed to date.  Ok, I know both of these answers are tough, and require a ton of guts to be honest about.  But, being honest is always the least painful way to handle these relationship issues.  It's worth it to shoot straight with someone.

2. "What do you do when he calls his friend asking for another girls number?" - I assume you mean your boyfriend did this behind your back.  Simply ask him why.  There may be a good reason for it.  Homework info, getting the number for a friend, or some other reason.  Or maybe not.  Let him have a chance to explain, and watch to see if he's being honest.  If you doubt him, talk to him about it.  You have to be up front and honest about this stuff.

3.  "When you want to break up with someone, how?" - Great question!  Be honest with them, and try to be as kind as you can. Don't lie to soften the pain, and don't be mean to get even.  Just tell them the truth.  Often, if you write it out first, and re-read it, you can figure out the best way to tell them.  You need to tell them in person, and at a time where they don't have to deal with during class.  Tell them so they have a chance to deal with it outside of school.

4. "Why do kids always say different stuff when they are not allowed to date?" - Often, it's just because they are embarrassed because they can't.  Their friends have put some stupid pressure on them that they are "supposed" to be dating, and they can't, so they feel insecure.  So, they make up stories about why they aren't dating to try and cover it up.  First off, there is no age at which you are "supposed" to date.  That's crazy!  And secondly, there is nothing wrong with telling someone you are not allowed to.  You aren't allowed to drive yet either, and that's no big deal.  Anyone who teases you about is way immature, and their opinion isn't worth getting worked up over.

5. "Why do guys and girls only go out with people if they're hot?" - We've been taught that this is what matters, and that it makes us more important if we have a hot boyfriend or girlfriend.  Honestly, it doesn't mean anything.  Just look at all of the attractive people who date someone just because they have money.  That's not about love, or about how great the person is.  The hot person is with the other one just to get their money.  It's no big deal what other people think your boyfriend or girlfriend look like.  Friendship matters more than anything.

6. "I think God is not real because every time I ask a girl out they say "no" or "you're gross".  Please explain to me how that happens." - Man, I'm sorry.  This honestly has much less to do with whether or not God is real, and more about the girls you are asking out.  How are you picking who to ask?  Are they good friends first, or are you picking them because of their looks, reputation, or what?  If you are asking out girls who are good friends, then ask them why they said no.  Sometimes we get turned down because of simple things we can change, sometimes its just the other person doesn't feel about us the way we feel about them.  EVERY guy has been there, man.  I promise.  God's plan for you goes way past whether or not you can get a date in middle school.  He loves you, and has created you to be an amazing man who accomplishes great things if you follow Him.  Don't give up on Him, He will never give up on you.  I promise.

7.  "What do you do if a girl asks you to come over to her house?  Do you have sex with her or just hang out?  I don't know what to do." - Whew, man, this is a tough one.  Did the girl ask you to come over when her parents weren't there?  Is this a girl you've known long?  Is this a friend, or what?  There is nothing wrong with hanging out at a girl's house, with some basic guidelines.  Do your parents know where you are going, and who is going to be there?  Are her parents home and aware you are coming over?  What are the plans when you show up?  Why do you want to go?  Listen man, I know this sort of stuff is hard to figure out, but the Bible talks about this some.  Proverbs chapters 5 and 7 talk about hooking up with someone, and what an incredible price you end up paying for it.  My advice is if you are in doubt about what is going to go on while you're there, or about who will or won't be there, then DON'T GO!  If you find yourself tempted to lie about the situation, then DON'T GO!  It's super risky with huge consequences.  God's plan for you is way better than this.

Don't Point, People Will Stare!

We read one of the accounts of the last time Jesus sits down and eats with His disciples in Matthew 26:17-35.  It's such a tough scene.  He tells them someone would betray Him.  Judas speaks up and says "It's not me, is it Teacher?"  Jesus answers, basically, "If that's what you say".  Judas seems to be testing Jesus.  Does He know?  Am I busted?  Jesus won't really answer him, but gives him a chance to fess up.  He doesn't.

Then Jesus warns the rest that all of them will abandon Him that night.  He knows.  He doesn't say they might, but that they would.  They all deny it.  There is no way they could abandon Jesus.  But He knows.

It is so hard when Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves, and He calls out things in us we don't want to hear.  He points things out in our life, and we look the other way.  We can try to skirt around it, cover it up, or deny it.  But He steadily tells us the truth.  And it hurts.  I hate it when He tells me things about myself that I am working hard to be in denial of, and He won't let it go.  It burns deep inside my heart, until I come clean and deal with the sin that is there.

By the end of the night, the disciples will run, Jesus will be arrested and beaten, and Judas will be preparing for his own suicide.  Denial is such a completely destructive tool in our lives.  It kills.

What if they had all listened and agreed?  What if they had fessed up? 

What if we do?

I've Heard Some Bad Nicknames in My Time, But Geesh........

As Matthew 26 opens, we are heading for the end of Jesus' life.  The crucifixion is looming, and the scary oboe music from every drama is playing in the background.  You can just feel the coming storm.  At the beginning of the chapter, Jesus tells His disciples in plain language that in two days He will be arrested to be crucified.  In verses 14-16, Judas slinks off to sell Jesus for a few dollars, and sets in motion the wheels of deceit and destruction.

But wedged in the middle is an interesting story.  A woman comes and pours perfume on Jesus while He is in the home of Simon the Leper (what a horrible nickname). There is so much wrong in this picture.  It's Passover week.  Every Jew in the country was working hard to keep themselves spiritually pure so they could celebrate Passover.  Jesus goes into a leper's home (big no-no), eats dinner there (bigger no-no) and a woman is rather inappropriate in public with her affection (big, big no-no).  In John 12, he says the woman is Mary, Martha and Lazarus' sister.  You have this contrast with the religious leaders threatened by Jesus, who want to kill Him; and Judas, who wants the money.  They both know Jesus, and reject Him.  Mary knows Jesus, and worships Him.  All in the same situation, the same setting.

What causes this canyon of a divide in their reactions?  A lot, to be honest.  The religious leader's goals, as well as Judas, are advancement and self-preservation.  They want power, prestige, and money, and they want it on their terms.  Mary has abandoned those things, and just wants God.  One leads to murder, the other to a gift.  One leads to grabbing for all they can take, the other to giving a very expensive gift from very little.  One leads to bitterness and suicide, the other to worship and joy.

Today, you and I face the same choices.  Power or passion?  Self-advancement or self-sacrifice?  Lust or love?  One always leads to death, the other to life.  Which route do you want?

Wanna Go See Jesus in Prison?

Jesus wraps up his teaching in Matthew 25 with the story in verses 31-46.  He talks about the fact that people will be divided at the end of time based on who are His, and who aren't, like dividing sheep and goats.  The fascinating thing He points to that shows the difference is how we treat those who are the least in our culture.  He doesn't define it by who reads their Bible the most, even though that is crucial.  He doesn't base it on prayer, even though that is the lifeblood of a life of faith.  He doesn't discuss how often we go to church, even though spending time with other followers is the only way we can make it through life.  So clearly, He is not trying to define how you become a Christian, or give a list of all of the things it means to be a Christian.

So, what IS He talking about here?  I think He is just showing what it means to really be listening to Him, and obeying Him.  God's heart is always for the broken.  We see it a hundred times in the Bible.  His heart breaks for people who have broken hearts.  So, if we are really following God, it will show up in our lives, specifically how we care for those He cares for. 

Taking care of the poor, the hungry, the stranger, the needy, or those in prison isn't the key to getting into heaven.  That's not Jesus' point here at all.  What He is saying is if we are truly His kids, if we are truly following Him, those things are going to happen, and we aren't going to really even be all that aware of it.  Notice the sheep in the story ask Him, "When did we do these things for you?"  It's an outflow of an authentic faith.

This is where so many of us may end up surprised.  Jesus teaches that if we are truly following Him, the Holy Spirit will work in our lives, and we will obey Him.  He will change things in us, and obedience will be the result.  If we are not obeying, we are not following.  If we aren't following Him, we are really His.  He tells us later that in the end a lot of people will say "Didn't we heal the sick, and cast out demons, and do great miracles in your name?" and He will tell them He doesn't know them.  It seems that it may not be the "great" things you do in Jesus name, but the simple acts of humble obedience (caring for the poor and needy) which point most clearly to a life surrendered to Him.