ok, this will be no big deal to anyone. (1) no one reads this blog (2) the three of you who do have much too busy lives to worry about it.

i've realized my time management is junk. not acceptable. so i'm downsizing and laying off in the industry of my life (why not follow the trend, right?)

i'm getting rid of most of the extra stuff i spend time on. facebook, twitter, blogging, reading 1,024,384 other blogs a day, etc. i'm going back to journaling on paper in a book, reading the Bible, and working.

if i figure out how to do that, and then add in some of the other stuff, i will. but i don't think i can. so, i won't be posting on this site again any time soon. if you need me, just call. it's better talking to you live anyway.


317 512 0762

Your Autograph Please

Another really cool resource I've come upon, and it actually works. www.yourfonts.com is the place. you download a template, write in the alphabet in your handwriting, scan it, upload it to them, and (shazam!) you have a True Type font from your handwriting to download and use in docs and publications. It works like a charm, I did mine this morning.

The only advice I'd give came from our Admin guy, Scott. Don't give them your signature in digital form on the bottom. They offer for you to give your signature, and you can use it to put on letters and such. But having your signature floating in space may not be the safest move.

Other than that, have at it. I only did page one, and it's awesome. Check it out.

Lesson Co-Op

Alright, I've got an idea. I've been writing lessons for years. I write them weekly. When I look at the stuff that is out there, both free and for sale, I'm rarely encouraged. What if some of us simply pool our stuff and make it available to each other. I've set up a Google Docs file and am uploading my lessons as I write them to the file. If we all did, and organized them, they would be permanently available to any of us at any time. We could even include video links, links to published curriculum (as long as we don't just post stuff we buy in complete form and violate copyrights), etc.

Just a thought. If you're interested, let me know, and I'll get you access to publish to and from the Google account.

Leadership Teams

Talking with Michael, our other youth pastor today. We were discussing how another youth ministry we respect in our area runs off of a student leadership team. Most of the youth pastors time and energy goes into the kids on this team. About 35% of his ministry is currently on this team. High commitment, multiple meetings, service expectations, reading, journaling, the whole nine yards.

I struggle to find the balance between calling kids to a higher level of commitment, and adding to their unhealthy schedules. I don't feel prayer, Bible study, and service are the problems. It's the extra meetings it takes to keep students motivated. We can say they shouldn't need these meetings, but they are developmentally not at a stage where they can do self-motivation yet. They need loving, regular accountability. Hence the need for meetings.

We discussed how we need to help parents change THEIR values so that the students will have support at home to do these things, even in the face of dropping other events. That's the tough sell. As I'm aging as a youth pastor, I can tell I'm going to need to spend more time mentoring parents. Sigh. I've turned down some beautiful opportunities to be an adult pastor, so I could stay in youth ministry. Only to find that youth ministry is going to require me to pastor adults. God is too funny that way.

Anyway, any thoughts from you guys who drop by here from time to time? Anything you're finding effective, or ineffective in these areas?


Today has been one of those days. I had one meeting scheduled for this morning. The rest of the day was set aside for administrative stuff and lesson planning. It's noon, I'm on my computer for the first time, and I have had four meetings. I have two phone messages from people needing to talk with me. And yes, I'm aware I'm blogging instead of working. I have to talk it out somewhere, and this is where.

I'm not mad at these people. I am struggling with time management lately, I admit. But, at the same time, none of these meetings were pointless issues. They were real. They weren't chats.

I have to readjust my boundaries again it seems. I have gotten slack in how tight I am with my time, and I can't do it. I hate the in between land. I want to have time to listen to people and serve them as the needs arise. But I have admin work to do because of a growing ministry.

Give it away? We can't afford another staffer when Michael leaves. Our admin assistant is part time, and works mostly for our senior pastor. A volunteer just never seems to work out.


It seems like I'll have to buckle down. I can do it. But it never lasts as a permanent solution. Pray for me, and share your ideas.

A Prayer for the Day

Jude 1:20-23 (NLT)
20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit,
21 and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. In this way, you will keep yourselves safe in God’s love.
22 And you must show mercy to those whose faith is wavering.
23 Rescue others by snatching them from the flames of judgment. Show mercy to still others, but do so with great caution, hating the sins that contaminate their lives.

May it be so with me.

30 Hour Famine - Cover Charge Required

We've always done the 30 Hour Famine. Every year, without fail. It's a great event. If you don't know about it, check out the link for more info. Anyway, we've always done it. But the last few years, I've had students showing up with a $5 donation, or even $1 once. We are trying to raise money to save kids lives, and the kids just come for the event.

It has always bugged me when this stuff happened, but I let the students come hoping that being a part of the event would open their eyes to the needs around them. It doesn't. It just doesn't. So, this year, I snapped. I just can't do it anymore. So I got with Renee, our leader planning the event, and Michael, our other youth pastor. We agreed to put a base amount on the event. Any student can do it, and raise $5 if they want. But they can't come to the Friday night - Saturday event. To get in on Friday night, they have to raise at least $75. No admittance without it. And I told them that that was the bare bottom ministry. If they show up with $75, don't be proud about it. You scraped by.

I don't know if any one else would agree with this approach. I'm sure there would be a whole host of people in youth ministry who disagree passionately. That's the advantage of writing a blog that no one reads. I won't hear from them. But I believe it's a good move. I want our faith to mean something. I want following Christ to be a sacrificial adventure. These kids carry $150 dollar cell phones. They can raise $75.

It will be interesting to see how it impacts the famine. I'm actually looking forward to the Famine now in ways I haven't in a long time.

What do you do with the Famine, or events like this?

I Still Love Youth Ministry

Can I tell you, I love high school students! Last night was my first night back with out youth group in a couple of months. (December was worship, party, and time off. January was a four week series with the parents. Last week was super bowl, and I missed out on it.) Plus, I got to switch places with Mike Farnsley, and teach our 9th and 10th graders. They are amazing! I love how they want to grow, to learn, to reach. There is excitement in the group, and they are responding to where we are pushing them hard. Even had one girl who absolutely can't stand me (it's not a secret) who was tracking with the lesson by the end. Too fun! God is so good!

i need You

my God, my Savior,
i need You.
i need You to be Strong,
because i am weak beyond measure.
i need You to be Faithful,
because i am a cheat and a thief.
i need You to see me through,
because all i can do is fall short.
i need You to Protect,
because i seem to want to damage everything.
i need You to be Truth,
even though i run and run from the truth.
i need You to be my Father,
because i am a poor child.
i need You to be Wise,
because i am so drawn to foolish ways.
i need You to be the One,
because i chase so many other empty ones.
i need You to be Grace,
because i am so broken.
i need You to be Mercy,
because i can do nothing other than fall short.
i need You to be Arms and Hands,
because i am broken and must be carried.
i need You to be Hope,
because i choose darkness and loss repeatedly.
i need You to be the Word,
because Your voice creates new worlds and universes within me.
i need You.
i need You.
i need You.

i need You.

Be What?!

I was reading today's devo in the One Minute Bible. (It always takes me more than a minute, I'm a little slow.) Looking at the sermon on the mount in Matthew 5, and comparing it to verses from Psalms 51:17, Job 34:17-19, and Isaiah 57 and 66. What does it mean to be meek, to mourn, to be pure and holy? I look at those promises, and just wonder. My view of following Jesus is so based on competition and being the best, and this has little to do with it.

Doug Fields writes in the side bar about Jesus: "Here's what He said: Mourn and you'll be COMFORTED. Be gentle and you'll INHERIT THE EARTH. Show mercy and MERCY will be shown to you. Have a pure heart and you'll SEE God. Bring peace to others and you'll be God's CHILD. Be treated badly for doing good and you'll be HAPPY."

Is the path to happiness suffering for God? No, I mean, is that REALLY the path to happiness. Everyone in America, including me, is consumed with how to be happy. Wander Borders or browse Amazon, they make a living off of the idea. Jesus tells us point blank that if we suffer for God, we will be happy. If we are meek, we will inherit the earth. We want to earn and buy the earth. Jesus says you can't, but you can inherit it. By being meek. Gentle. Quiet. Suffering for doing what is right.

I'm so far away from this idea. I realize this is the challenge of history, that volume after volume have been written about this idea, and how mankind falls short on it.

But Jesus says it. Point blank. Crystal clear.

There has to be something to that.

Too Many Questions

As a pastor, I'm not sure what to make of John 6. Jesus feeds the five thousand, walks on water, and then teaches in Capernaum. But what He tells the people is so harsh, so strong, that He runs most of them off. The disciples stay with Him because they claim to have no where else to go. I just don't know what to do with this idea. Jesus says that everyone who comes is drawn by God, and He will have them all. He is fearless about scaring away people who are looking for something other than salvation.

Yet, I want to draw people in so that they might see and hear Jesus. He did feed the five thousand, after all. If he wasn't into drawing people to Him, He could have told them all to get lost. And these people traveled around the lake to find Him. They were definitely interested in being around Jesus, seeking after Jesus. But it was the "jesus" they were wanting that He wasn't interested in.

How do we know when to cut people loose? How do we know when we are entertaining too many lookers who want the wrong "jesus"? Is it possible to move a person from the wrong camp to the right camp? Don't we all want the wrong "jesus" at different times?

Oooo.... Jesus makes my head hurt.

A Little More Andy, A Little Less Phil

I'm reading John 6 this morning, and looking at the feeding of the 5000. Jesus asks Philip "Where shall we buy bread for these people to eat?" Thinking through this question, a couple of things hit me.

One, it tells us that Jesus already knew what He was going to do. He knew about the kid with the fish, He knew He would perform the miracle with the food, He knew it all. So why the question? He asks what will "we" do? Not what are you going to do? Not what should I do? What should "we" do. He doesn't need the disciples help or ideas. He's hitting at what they are thinking. They are owning the problem. They don't see any answer. Philip's answer gives their thoughts away. They think the situation is out of control. Jesus is drawing out their fears and their answers.

He's also leading them to look past what they know to what He can do. They are taking everything they have seen and heard in life and coming to the best possible conclusion they can. We have to buy them food. We don't have the resources. We can't do this. He calls them to say, we can't, but what can You do?

I need to learn this lesson. What can God do that I can't. He asks me questions like this all the time, and I panic. I'm in the middle of one now that I'm not trusting Him with. He wants me to talk to someone, and I'm balking about it, because I can't see how in the world it could possibly turn out well. Yet, He keeps asking me, what are we going to do about this situation?

Andrew offers the kids food. He doesn't know why, but he offers it up. I need to be more like Andrew and less like Philip.

Gotta Give Him Props

I gotta give God credit. My birthday was awesome, and it is because of His generosity. He allowed some good snow to fall (12 inches is ALOT for Shelbyville. we are a snow vortex for some reason. It never hits here.) So, school was out. The church office was closed. I got to stay home with Jill and the girls, play games, play in the snow, run the four wheeler around in the powder, run my snow blower, and eat two birthday meals. It was AWESOME!

Here's why I really appreciate it. I was having a bit of trouble with number 38. Don't know why, but I was. Nothing major, just not looking forward to it. But God threw me a party that made it one of my best birthdays in years. Jill worked SO hard, even though she's been under the weather this week. The girls made beautiful cards for me. It was amazing.

So, I am a blessed man. When I definitely shouldn't be. Thanks God. You are really great!

3 Spots Worth Checking Out

Okay, a couple of things I recently discovered that are way cool, and helpful in ministry.

1. CoolIris - it's an add-on for Firefox. Searches for images from multiple sites and displays them on a huge wall so you can see dozens at once. Saves time finding images for printing and publications, like flyers and web stuff. It's great!

2. Lastfm.com - a web site you can add on to Firefox. Type in your favorite bands, it creates stations around it. Better than Pandora.

3. GetMiro.com - Like CoolIris, but with video. Search all the video feed sites, preview them, and then you can either save them to your harddrive to use somewhere else, like in Media shout. Or, if you don't save it, it will pull it off your harddrive after five days, saving you the space. Check it out, it's way cool. Subscribe to the Ask a Ninja channel while you're there.

Silver Birch Ranch

too long.
could it be?

Age Isn't All Bad

Last night, I had the opportunity to help out a couple of our middle school boys. It didn't look or feel like that is what happened, but I know it is. We have a couple of guys in 6th grade who want to be cool. I don't know these guys well, they are in the group lead by Mike, our other youth pastor. But I know them well enough. They are scared, hurt, and uncertain little guys, afraid of life. They choose to deal with it by being "tough", at least as tough as you can be when you're 12, 5'4", and 83 pounds. They roll in with attitudes that would make an NBA player proud. But they're broken.

They push everyone away. They argue with you, no matter what you say. They have no problem arguing both sides of a discussion, at the same time, and telling you how wrong you are. Needless to say, they can get under your skin.

We've loved on them all year. We've tried to help them. We've taken about 30 different steps to show them a positive way, a healthy way to act. They don't care. So, last night, they laid out their attitudes, and we sent them home early.

Man, the threats out of those two little mouths. The accusations. The feigned hurt. They are impressive, I have to admit.

Here is where my age is an asset. None of that matters. I know that if I don't speak truth and hold a line which requires respect, they will never get Jesus. They just won't. I 'm not mean to them at all. I won't argue with them. But I'm calling them to step up to a base level. I used to think if I did this, I'd lose them forever. Then I went through a long phase of "I'll sacrifice a few for the good of the whole" idea. But now, now I know better. I know that God works beyond and outside of my ministry. I've seen it. Over and over, firsthand. Emails and letters from former students, now in their 20's and 30's, telling me how 10 years after they left our group for the last time, God has gotten hold of them. They tell of His grace and forgiveness, and the power to change.

It's not that I think discipline and being "firm" changed them. I just believe in God. In His relentless love AND power. It is His to work in someones life. It is just mine to be faithful.

So, I don't know if my latest pair of tough guys will be back. If they are, they'll have to agree to live in community at a base level. If they don't come back, I know that God has wonderful plans for them, and that this is all part of His plan.

Age isn't all bad.

Couple of Recommendations

Okay, I have a couple of sermons that I think everyone ought to listen to. It's a guy named Steev Inge from Mystery Church in Joplin, MO. You can get them from iTunes, or from the church's website. I recommend the Life Lived Before the Throne messages, and the One Thing message. If you listen to them, drop me a line and give me your thoughts. They are all working on me hard right now.

Oops, I Did it Again...

I don't like Brittany's song (publicly), but it fits right now. It's one of those times where I made a mistake, thought I could fix it, and now it's worse than ever. I set up a youth trip, didn't think through the dates well enough, and now, I have to cancel it. No big deal, except I've got my whole leadership team on board with the trip, promoted it to parents, posted the dates, and set the whole thing up. Now it's gotta change. I have to admit I'm wrong, ask for a lot of forgiveness, and move forward.

I do not like it when this kind of stuff happens because of my stupidity. I really don't. I like it when someone else does it, and I can be gracious about it. I like it when I plan so well, that I gain tons of trust from everyone around me. But I don't like it when I blow it.

Something I notice though. I am much more penitent and sad about disappointing the people around me, than I am when I disappoint God. If I sin and blow it, I ask for forgiveness. But I don't stress it the way I stress situations like this. Why is that? Why is God's opinion of me so much easier to blow off? I think I assume too much about God's grace. I know He forgives me, He already has. I know He will never leave me. I don't need to earn His love. But I don't take seriously enough my need to live in such a way to make Him proud of me. I don't own the Job factor, where He lived in such a way that Satan couldn't take it anymore. I can't imagine Satan needing to go to heaven and complain to God about me because of how I live. If he did, I can't imagine God trusting me enough to let Satan loose in my life like that.

So, I want to spend more time focusing on what God sees in me, and what He knows about me, and what He feels about me. I want God to be proud of me. I want to be more concerned about what He thinks of me when I mess up, and when I obey.

Just some random stuff rattling around inside of me. What about you?

It's Finally Back!

On my micro iPod screen, today I found happiness. The Relevant Podcast is back after three months of desert dryness! I'm so happy it's back! I just miss Lloyd.

Cheap Grace is No Grace

I continue to work through these questions about salvation and what I/we are calling our students to. Last night, I met with our senior high leadership team, and we spent some time discussing who we are calling our kids to follow. I've got a growing uneasiness that we may have made Jesus more buddy, or uber-patient father, than we have Lord. I'm still not sure, but it won't go away. The more I pray about it and think about it, the stronger the feeling gets. I can't believe I would have ever fallen into the cheap grace side of things, but I think I have. I've felt this way for well over a year, but it's really coming to a head now.

I mean, we still teach Christ and Him crucified. But I think I may have painted a picture of Jesus that is not strong enough. It seems that our kids hold onto Jesus for as long as He "works", then when something "better" comes along, they bail. Usually it is sex somewhere in the system that ruins them.

I don't think more teaching on sex and abstinence is the answer though. I really think we need, I need, to present a much clearer, stronger picture of Jesus as King, Lord, Redeemer, Lover, and Creator. Sigh...

God, please give me the truth and direction I need to speak to these kids.

Pray for me, for us, in this.

One Small Step at a Time

We are doing something in our youth ministry that is new for me, and I'm excited about it. We're doing a study series with all of our high school students combined (Beyond and Exit 112). We are doing a guys group on the Doug Fields study Guy Talk.
We have a girl's group going through the book Lies Young Women Believe.

We are doing a simlutaneous group for the parents of the girls, leading them through the book.

And we are leading a group for parents of the guys, teaching them the guys material.

All four groups meet on Sunday nights at the church at the same time.

This past week was our first week, and I loved it! We didn't see huge numbers of parents, but just the fact that we took a step towards doing more family oriented ministry has me so juiced! I'm leading the guys parents group, and we had the best discussion I've ever had in a parent's session. Parents are ordering the books we are teaching from, and diving in. We're providing discusison guides for them to use at home through the week with their kids. Students are seeing their parents come and invest in their spiritual growth, and feeling cared for. It's cool.

And since we're doing it during regular youth group hours, the kids whose parents won't come aren't left out. It just feels like regular youth group to them. The breaking along the gender lines is a creative twist we don't often do, so it adds energy to the discussions as well. We've got five weeks to go, and I couldn't be more excited.

Me < Him

We're reading John 3:22-36 this week as a church. Two things are working on me from this story.

John the Baptist gives his famous "He must increase, I must decrease" speech. How do I do this? I am praying and asking God to show me what this means today for me. I have a strong desire to do it. But some areas of my life seem completely entrenched. I have things I want to go away, and I want to hold on to for dear life, simultaneously. It's tough. So, I'm reminding myself of this goal, and praying the Lord's Prayer. A lot. I know God will be faithful, it's just painful.

The second thing I'm working with is the idea of "whoever believes in the Son has eternal life". I know, I know, simple, basic, 101 level theology. But I'm being pushed on what it means to be a believer, a follower, a disciple. Christ's calls to discipleship are sky high. His parable of the soils is haunting me right now. Francis Chan and his book , Crazy Love, are just feeding the questions. (You REALLY should pick up this book!) So what does it mean to "believe in the Son"? What all does that entail. Does true belief, the size of a mustard seed, produce life change automatically? Does a person who claims faith, but lacks serious growth, only deceive themselves? At what level is growth real? At what level is it just self-help stuff?

I'm honestly not worried about myself, not because I'm so great or wonderful, but I know that I rely on Christ and need Him above all else. I can't breathe if He doesn't show me His grace and mercy every nano-second. I can be selfish and ungrateful, I sin, but I know that I am trusting Him for everything. But as a pastor, how do I gauge what we are calling people to? Especially students?

Anyway, that's where I am today, in John 3.

Time Out

I've been on a vacation for the last two weeks. I haven't taken two weeks off since I was in college. I say that with regret, not pride.

It was simply fabulous! I can not express what good it did me to be gone for an extended period of time. If you have the ability to link some days together to get an extended break, take it. It is healing and healthy. My family is better off, my marriage is better off, and I am definitely better off.

It's funny that God prescribes rest, He orders it and calls for it, but we don't take Him seriously. Then we wonder why our faith is weak, our ministries are a weight, and our burden is heavy. At least I do. My challenge from here is to do a better job at building rhythm. I've worked at it before, but I have to continue to try. I can't give up.

What are you finding that works for you to help with the rhythm of life?
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