Mommmm! Not in Front of the Guys!

Reading Matthew 20 today, and I realized that the parable of the workers that I wrote about yesterday, the prediction Jesus gives of His death, and the story of James and John's mom in verses 20-28 all fit together.  I've always kind of broke them up, but they actually go together better.

You've got yesterdays story that culminated with "the last will be first and the first will be last".  Then Jesus predicts His death and resurrection.  Then James' and John's mom comes and asks for Jesus to promote her boys to the front of the line.  I've always chuckled at how embarrassing this is.  I think it's funny that we believe that "helicopter parents" are something new, but here she is 2000+ years ago, hovering over her grown boys.  Humiliating.  But more than that, what is she asking?  I always thought she meant for Jesus to promote them in heaven one day.  But I don't think so.  She's asking about when He becomes King here on earth.  What about the whole death/resurrection talk?  I think they just didn't get it, still.  They are looking for a king here.  I've known that, but the story fits together a little better when I look at it as a whole.

So, I guess the question then is what do I need to hear from this?  What does God want us to see?  A couple of possible questions.  They didn't get the whole point in the resurrection/death.  What big point of God's plan are you and I missing?  Where are we wanting Jesus to rule so that we can take some power of our own?  Is Jesus a means to an end for us?  Or is He Himself the goal?

I'll have to think about that one for awhile.

Coming in First/Last

What does it mean for Jesus to say "the last will be first and the first will be last"?  No, really, what does that mean?  In Matthew 20 He tells the story of the guy who hires people to work for him, and pays them all the same, even though they all worked different lengths of time.  When people complain, the landowner says "don't complain because I'm generous".  What does this all mean?

How do I complain to God about His fairness and grace?  I think personally when other people who don't love Jesus get away with stuff, I get upset.  When people around me whine, or lie, and I am expected to work harder to cover for them, I get mad.  When I have to do jobs I don't like, and other people don't, I get indignant.  It's because I forget maybe the key part to the story.  God is the landowner.  No one else is.  I work for Him, no matter what "field" I'm in at the time.  I mean, I serve as a dad, husband, son, friend, co-worker, pastor, mentor, professor, etc.  Each of those is a different "field".  But it's all for my Boss, who owns it all. 

When I remember that He is the One in charge of every facet of my life, that He is the One who has put me there, I calm my little self down a bit.  It's all fair in the grand scheme of things, because the Landowner who oversees it all is full of grace.  Don't worry about it.  Keep moving forward.  It will all work out in the end.

What's in YOUR Wallet?

It's interesting in Matthew 19:16-30, how Jesus lists off the commands for the rich young dude.  You know the story.  Rich young guy comes to Jesus, wants to know what good thing he needs to do to get eternal life.  Jesus tells him to keep the commands.  Which ones, the dude wants to know.  In the list, Jesus jumps to the 10 Commandments.  But do you catch which one He leaves off?  #1.  You will have no other gods before Me.  He leaves off the very first one.

It's the one this guy struggles with the most.  Idolatry.  The guy has cash, and is very attached to it.  Jesus tells him to give it all away, and the dude walks away sad.

What's going on with this?  Is Jesus playing games with Him, or what?  I think Jesus knows the dudes heart, and wants to help him see what's wrong.  The guy lives a good life of honor and morals, and is still unsettled.  All of his money is not making him happy.  It never does.  So Jesus talks about all the stuff he is doing to try and compensate, and then gets to the core issue.  It's the hold your money has on you.  Ditch it.  Cut it free.  Let it go.

I HATE this story.  It hurts.  There are several things I hold on to that I have a hard time letting go of.  Comfort, stability, my need to please others, money, pride, and a long litany of issues.  God wants them all.  Not to punish me, but to make me more like Him, full of faith and trust.

But I fight it.  And often go away sad.

But then, there's hope: "With humans this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."

May it be in my life as you have said, God.

May it be.

It's For Keeps

Divorce. Man, its such a tough issue. I hit Matthew 19 this morning, and Jesus is handed the issue of divorce. The scene is He has been healing a large amount of people, and the Pharisee's come to see what Jesus will say about divorce. They ask, "Is it legal for a man to divorce a woman for whatever reason he wants?" This was a common issue then, just like it is today.

Jesus tells them "No. God created marriage for a reason, and He supernaturally joins a man and woman together physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Once He does that, people shouldn't try to tear that apart."

Then they want to know why Moses said to give a woman a certificate of divorce in the Bible? Isn't that Moses condoning divorce?

Jesus tells them, "No. People were divorcing for all kinds of reasons, and the men would just pitch the women out. They couldn't remarry, and they would starve. Moses said if you were going to do it, you had to give her an official document saying you had ended your marriage and she was now single. He did it because you were idiots and hardhearted, not because it is in God's plan. Divorcing someone and remarrying someone else is adultery. If a spouse is guilty of sexual immorality, then it's not good, but you aren't guilty of adultery, because they have already broken the marriage covenant and left."

I love the disciples response. This is what I saw for the first time today. They look at Jesus, and think about it, and tell Him, "If that's the way God sees it, then it's better not to get married. If you have to stay with someone who is difficult, or hurtful, or a pain, and can't leave them, then it's better to be single and celibate." That just hits me as funny. It's like they are incredulous at His idea of marriage, and suddenly want no part of it.

Marriage is tough. Tougher than any unmarried person can understand. That's why we have to choose WHO we marry SO carefully. We don't. We rush into based on feelings and fun. Those aren't enough. And once we're in, we drastically underestimate the power of our words and actions. It all counts. But we need to work it out. There are always exceptions, but the majority of us need to work it out.

It's a tough teaching. That's for sure.

Guest Post: Scott Linscott

I saw Scott's blog post today, and I am posting it in it's entirety. These are not my words, but I wish they were. This is exactly what we are talking about. Please read it.

Your kid’s an All Star? Wow! Someday he’ll be average like the rest of us.

The church in America is puzzled. Young adults are leaving in droves. Magazines, books and blogs are wagging the finger of blame to point out who is responsible. Some say it is a failure of youth ministry, some point to church budgets and some nail the blame on outdated, unhip worship services. We parents are shocked that our kids just really aren’t all that into Jesus.

When I look for someone to blame I head into the restroom and look into a mirror. Yupp, there he is. I blame him. That parent looking back at me is where I have to start.

If you’re a parent, I’m might tick you off in this post. But, hear me out. I think that we, as parents are guilty of some things that make it easy for our kids to put faith low on their priority list.

Keys to Making Your Kids Apathetic About Faith

1) Put academic pursuits above faith-building activities. Encourage your child to put everything else aside for academic gain. Afterall, when they are 24 and not interested in faith and following Christ, you’ll still be thrilled that they got an A in pre-calculus, right? Instead of teaching them balance, teach them that all else comes second to academics. Quick … who graduated in the top 5 of your high school class? Unless you were one of them, I bet you have no idea. I don’t.

2) Chase the gold ball first and foremost. Afterall, your child is a star. Drive 400 miles so your child can play hockey but refuse to take them to a home group bible study because it’s 20 minutes away.

2b) Buy into the “select,” “elite,” “premier” titles for leagues that play outside of the school season and take pride in your kid wearing the label. Hey now, he’s an All-Star! No one would pay $1000 for their kid to join, “Bunch-of-kids-paying-to-play Team.” But, “Elite?!?” Boy, howdy! That’s the big time!

2c) Believe the school coach who tells you that your kid won’t play if he doesn’t play in the offseason. The truth is, if your kid really is a star, he could go to Disney for the first week of the season and come back and start for his school team. The determined coach might make him sit a whole game to teach him a lesson. But, trust me, if Julie can shoot the rock for 20 points a game, she’s in the lineup. I remember a stellar soccer athlete who played with my son in high school. Chris missed the entire preseason because of winning a national baseball championship. With no workouts, no double sessions, his first day back with the soccer team, he started and scored two goals. Several hard-working “premier” players sat on the bench and watched him do it. (Chris never played soccer outside the school season but was a perpetual district all-star selection.) The hard reality is, if your kid is not a star, an average of 3 new stars a year will play varsity as freshmen. That means there’s always 12 kids who are the top prospects. Swallow hard and encourage your kid to improve but be careful what you sacrifice to make him a star at little Podunk High here in Maine.

2d) By the way, just because your kid got a letter inviting him to attend a baseball camp in West Virginia does not mean he is being recruited. You’ll know when recruiting happens. Coaches start calling as regularly as telemarketers, they send your kid handwritten notes and they often bypass you to talk to your kid. A letter with a printed label from an athletic department is not recruitment. When a coach shows up to watch your kid play and then talks to you and your kid, that’s recruiting.

3) Teach your kid that the dollar is almighty. I see it all the time. Faith activities fly out the window when students say, “I’d like to, but I have to work.” Parents think jobs teach responsibility when, in reality, most students are merely accumulating wealth to buy the things they want. Our kids learn that faith activities should be put aside for the “responsibility” of holding a job. They will never again get to spend 100% of their paychecks on the stuff they want.

3b) Make them pay outright for faith activities like youth retreats and faith community activities while you support their sports, music, drama and endeavors with checks for camps and “select” groups and expensive equipment. This sends a loud and clear message of what you really want to see them involved in and what you value most. Complain loudly about how expensive a three-day youth event is but then don’t bat an eye when you pay four times that for a three-day sports camp.

4) Refuse to acknowledge that the primary motivating force in kids’ lives is relationship. Connections with others is what drives kids to be involved. It’s the reason that peer pressure is such a big deal in adolescence. Sending kids to bible classes and lectures is almost entirely ineffective apart from relationship and friendships that help them process what they learn. As kids share faith experiences like retreats, mission trips and student ministry fun, they build common bonds with one another that work as a glue to Christian community. In fact, a strong argument can be made that faith is designed to be lived in community with other believers. By doing all you can to keep your kids from experiencing the bonds of love in a Christian community, you help insure that they can easily walk away without feeling like they are missing anything. Kids build friendships with the kids they spend time with.

5) Model apathy in your own life. If following Jesus is only about sitting in a church service once a week and going to meetings, young adults opt out. Teenagers and young adults are looking for things that are worth their time. Authentic, genuine, relevant relationships where people are growing in relationship with Jesus is appealing. Meaningless duty and ritual holds no attraction.

There are no guarantees that your children will follow Christ even if you have a vibrant, purposeful relationship with Him. But, on the other hand, if we, as parents do not do all we can to help our children develop meaningful relationships in Jesus, we miss a major opportunity to lead them and show them the path worth walking.

I want my kids to see that their dad follows Jesus with everything. I want them to know that my greatest hope for them is that they follow Him too.

Mt. 6:33 Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. (The Message)

On a personal note: I know the struggle. My wife and I have lived the struggle firsthand. My son was recruited by a few D1 NCAA schools for baseball and opted instead to attend a small D3 school. My daughter was recruited to play field hockey by a couple D2 programs and ended up playing D3 when the scholarship offer was not enough to make her top school affordable. Both played in “premier” leagues. Both got A’s in high school though we often told them not to stress out too much over it. Both are in honor societies in college and my son now has offers from UNC, Univ. of Wisconsin, Johns Hopkins and Weil Cornell for a Phd in Pharmacology. Neither ever missed a youth group retreat, conference or mission trip because of their sports or academic commitments. Both missed a game or two to attend faith-based activities. Both missed school for family vacations. Both held down part-time jobs in high school and learned to give employers advance notice for upcoming retreats. My son often changed into his baseball uniform at church to arrive in the third inning of Sunday games. Robin and I did all we could to make sure they connected in student ministry even when it meant driving straight from a tournament to a music festival at midnight so that they would not miss out. It was that important to us. My youngest, a culinary student, lost a restaurant job because he went on a mission trip. That’s fine. Thankfully, all 3 have strong faith walks today. That is due only to God’s grace. But, I do believe that our efforts and example helped them long for a community-based faith.

We don't fight fair.

Jesus tells a parable about the dude who is forgiven for hundreds of thousands of dollars by a king, and then refuses to forgive someone else a $50 debt. The dude is thrown in prison and loses everything because he was so selfish.

What I noticed today is that Jesus starts the whole deal by explaining that the parable is about the Kingdom of God, and that God will punish us if we are unforgiving. In fact, we will lose everything if we are not willing to forgive others from the heart, it says in verse 35.

Ok, let's all stop for a minute. Do we believe this? Really? I don't live like I do sometimes. I hold a grudge because it's justified. But here's the deal; in the story dude #1 is owed a bill by dude #2. It's a legitimate debt. Dude #1 technically is in the right. This isn't a story about who is right or wrong, or what is fair. It's a story about ridiculous grace, and the blazing expectation by God that we will live reckless lives full of grace and deficient in fairness.

So do we? I like fair, personally. And not just for the deep fried snickers bars. I like it when things are all even-steven, equal across the board. Jesus says dump that, it will land you in Hell. We are a people of grace. Not equality or fairness.

Who needs a heaping dose of undeserved, unmerited forgiveness and grace in your life? Do you have the belief to give it? It's a huge risk if you don't.







(completely unrelated, I noticed this is my 200th post. not sure what that means, but it caught my eye.)

Go, Go, and Go

As a pastor, a lot of people want to tell me what a lot of other people are doing wrong. It's so funny how I constantly find myself in the seat of someone who is expected to be peacemaker/cop for folks in our church.

I'm not talking about the people who come to me and ask for me to pray for them for their issues, nor am I talking about the folks who come in and tell me about their personal problems, and want help to resolve them.

I'm talking about the people who are mad at someone else, and want me to go fix things for them. This is why Matthew 18:15-20 is so important in our church. It lays out a plan to take responsibility for ourselves. If someone else is sinning, go talk to them yourself. If they won't listen, take a couple of neutral people, and go talk to them again. If that doesn't work, then involve the church and the leadership. If that doesn't solve it, then it is safe to assume that they are not following God and treat them like a friend who doesn't know Jesus.

It's a simple plan. But it takes courage and humility to do well. What if we all lived by this set of guidelines though? Man, things would run so much better.

So, I really want to push all of us, let's make a habit of dealing with conflict among ourselves the way Jesus lays out His plan. It works. I've seen it work. And it gives Him a chance to bring healing.

Well worth the effort.